First off, let me say that Stuart Wilde’s book, “Infinite Self” is absolutely FANTASTIC! I’ve read a handful of life-changing books over the past several years, and this is by far one of the B E S T. He is so gifted at explaining the human ego, how and why we operate the way we do. (see the photo at the bottom of the blog from the exert of the chapter I’m speaking about… then, do yourself a favour and go by the damn book!)
I mention this, because I’ve always wondered why I find myself constantly seeking the approval of others. Normally, I’m the first to tell someone of my accomplishments or my skill sets in conversation. Not in a cocky way, not even in such a way as to gain accreditation. Maybe I do it to to build trust or common ground when meeting someone new. I don’t know…
I’ll never forget when my other half told me he had his masters degree in direct marketing. It was months after we had first met, and I was shocked that he hadn’t told me on our “first date”. I know I certainly would have. Hell, you can bet your ass if I went to college for 6 some-odd years, my ass would be bragging about it. Instead, I tell drunken war stories of my short lived 2 year college career lol!
I thought it was sooooooooo sexy that he was able to casually talk about it, like it was no big deal.
The picture below is us along with another couple, at a drum circle. My girlfriend wanted to do something interesting for her birthday, so she organised a drum circle class for about 10 of us. It was brilliant! After we got started, the teacher (named Nee, as in ‘knee’) was instructing everyone on how to hold their drum and how to use their hands. Part of me wanted to chime in like a second grader, and show everyone that I could be teaching them the same shit. After all, when I was in high school, I played percussion in a Christian rock band for over a year. We even recorded an album. Look at me!!! look at me!!! (insert lol)
But I didn’t. I just sat there and followed along like everyone else in the circle. Towards the end, we had a two-part rhythm going, with one half of the group playing a beat, and the other half doing something complimentary. Nee would bust out a solo in between and really light the circle up. Then, finally it happened. Without thinking, I just started to go off and rip shit up with my own solo! Some friends started hootin n’ hollerin’, shocked at my unspoken drumming ability. lol
Just the other night, my girlfriend brought it up. She said she kept meaning to say something, and that she had no idea I could play……..
There’s something to be said about quiet konfidence. Instead of standing up on a box, and letting everyone know verbally how great you are, shut your mouth and show it when the time is right. Isn’t it true that actions speak louder than words? They certainly leave a longer lasting impression as well-