OMG!  Finally, FINALLY went to a beginners mediation drop-in class this afternoon.  Had it not been me promising my niece that I would take her, after I brought it up (for the hundredth time in the past 12 months), I would have bitched out and not gone… AGAIN!  So weird how my ego will take control, and come up with some bullshit, lame-ass excuse, as to why I don’t need to do something.  Like my ego secretly knew that at about 25 minutes into the meditation, I would want to run like lightening out the door.  Or, even better, I would start to get hungry, and couldn’t fight off the hunger sharks.

But, we went, and it was SO nice to not trip on the future, nor the past, for about a rock-solid half an hour.  My morning started out early as all hell, as I woke up at 3:18a, having to pee like a racehorse.  Finally, getting out of bed after trying to hold it and ‘fall back asleep’, I got up at 4:30a and started answering emails.  Trained hard with L-dawg (for all you long-time blog readers of mine from way back, you remember L-dawg! www.assassinpt.com.au ), then met with my PR agency (I’ve always wanted to say that.  Right up there with, “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer asshole!….. I’ve always wanted to say “my lawyer”).  After a short chat, and a long black (for you Yanks (‘us’ Yanks!)) a long black is espresso and water… kinda like drip-shit coffee from starfuks), we concluded that I need a hook.

I’m aiming at worldwide coverage for my media ‘stunt’, therefor need a link-in with a cause.  The next cause that I could link with, comes up on March 8th.  So January 16th (for those of you who follow what I say word for word…. this gives me MASSIVE amounts of pleasure AND drive when I’m smashing the weights around… and boys in the dojo, btw) … the 16th, has been scrapped.  I’ll keep you posted with updates, but I’m taking this to a whole new level.  For those of you who know me, you know I ALWAYS deliver.

ANYWAY, met with the PR agency, then came home to see the family.  Only two more days and they are back home to Cali.  When I walked in the door, my brother started in on another conspiracy he’d come across.  He was all revved up to tell me about this new doco he came across, and mentioned the Denver International Airport.  I stopped him dead in his tracks and said, “Dude… where the HELL have you been, yo?!”, I continued on with almost what sounded like disgust, “Why in the hell else do you think I was looking to buy land in Colorado… for shits and giggles?!”.  From there, he showed me the new doco (“doco” is Aussie slang for documentary btw).  20 minutes into the 2 hours of it, I had to excuse myself.  I literally had to go lay down on my bed, and watch the Simpsons to try and calm down.  I even contemplated taking an “emergency” xanex I had stashed in the bedside drawer.  I was going to puke.  My head was spinning.  Was everything I had been taught, and grew up with, a lie?  Would my peers think I had surely gone off the deep end?  Didn’t I just go through this a couple months ago?

It also didn’t help that the day before, yesterday, we had spent the afternoon at the Scienceworks Museum in Yarraville.  Half of what we spent looking at, were exhibits demonstrating how the human brain works with the senses.  Our hearing, vision, touch…. our thoughts, subliminal marketing… you name it.  I think I even sat and stared at drawings from some psychiatrist from Japan, that actually started moving when you zoned out on them for a couple seconds, for close to 20 minutes.  One of the crazy exhibits that stuck with me, can be found on this website I believe:

http://www.quirkology.com   look for the “colour card trick” video.  it’ll blow your  mind.

Moving forward, after I laid down for an hour, and started to calm myself down, processing all the information I had been taking in over the past couple of days (I trust you at least looked up PNAC documentary and watched a few minutes of it?), I got my ass up.  We headed out, and made our way over to the ‘Melbourne Buddhist Centre’ http://www.melbournebuddhistcentre.org .  My niece had never attended any type of meditation class or workshop, nor had anyone explained to her what the benefits are from doing so.  I on the other hand, have had a few instructors, and/or at the very least, several introductions to it.

The little drop-in, crash course, takes 45 mins.  10 mins is roughly spent by the instructor explaining what meditation is, and the forms practiced.  Then, the rest of 25-30 mins, is broken-down into 4 stages of guided meditation.  The first stage, is spent counting to 10, then starting over again once hitting 10.  Each time you breath out, you count 1, then 2, and so on.  Every time your mind starts to wonder off on a thought, you simply acknowledge the thought, or thoughts if you’re anything like me…. (more like thoughts x 1000000), and immediately go back to focusing on your breath.  Then, the instructor hits some hypnotising bell/chime sound, and it’s off to the second stage where you focus on the breath as it hits your body, and count to 10, just as in the first stage.  The third is spent focusing on your breath before you take it in.  The fourth…. MY GOD!  By the fourth stage, I was able to sit still, and do a fair job.  I was so relaxed at one point, I felt like I was sinking in to my chair.  Then, some chic in the class let out this bone-shattering sneeze that literally almost had me let out a little yelp followed by a burst of laughter.  It was like someone had let off a shotgun in the room.  Anyhow, after being derailed from the sneeze, I spent the fourth stage trying to not think about my hunger that was creeping up on me, as well as how hot I was starting to get.  One thought would enter my mind, then all the sudden, WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT (lol), I was trailing off to another thought, and another thought that was totally unrelated….

Mediation is something that doesn’t happen over night.  I highly suggest if you are new to it, start off with someone guiding you.  Or, just shoot for sitting still for 2-3 minutes.  Then, work your way up to 5, then 10, then 20, and so on.  Learning how to be still, and just “be”, is tricky business.  But it is O-so worth it in the long haul.  As humans, we have a tendency to keep one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, and we are pissin on today.  Bet ya’ never heard that one before

Needless to say, after the short 45 minutes, I felt recharged, not as fearful of what this year may bring, and much more in touch with my spiritual being.