For those of you who have been following me since this all started (almost 3 years ago now, woah!), you can recall my several spazz-out moments (as I like to call them) in regards to conspiracy theories.  To name a few, Jesse Ventura’s show, The Who Flu (the documentary that angelic homeless hippy gave my republican, postal-working, God-Bless-His-Hard-Working-Ass Brother, one Winter day outside of the grocery store), the DIA (Denver International Airport) 2part series on youtube… You know it comes and goes for me.  I get clued in to some stuff, then my brain goes into over-load, ‘I’m the next Joan of Arc’ must save the world mode.  The concepts of these theories are so large and overwhelming, that most people will tell you you’re ‘off your tits’, bat-shit crazy, or just plain idiotic.  Or, you’ll get a response of, “yeah…. so…. WTF can I or you do about it?”.  After screwing around on the internet hopping from link, to link, I ended up on Wikipedia for about an hour reading up on who the hell the Rockefeller family is.  I know I’ve been past, or maybe even been in (it was really humid in NYC last year when I was there, and I was a bit over-worked, under-fed, and looped out on pain pills to recall!) The Rockefeller Center, but never really knew who the family was other than some rich-ass bankers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockefeller_family  (I couldn’t help but notice the family is from Germany, has the Asia society, pretty much built the world trade center, and sits on all sorts of nifty boards regarding population, ergonomics, etc)

Hum….. then it dawned on me that I’ve never gotten around to watching the documentary “Who Killed the Electric Car”, after realising the Rockefeller family started their empire off of the birth of Standard Oil, aka Chevron.  I love when people use the word ‘Tycoon’.  Totally off topic, but thought I’d throw that in there.  I also didn’t know that past US President JFK was assassinated right after he signed a bill banning the Federal Reserve.  NO KIDDING!  interesting….

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Population_Council
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Rockefeller
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics
Controversially, the Council has its roots in the eugenics movement. The first president of the Council was a eugenicist appointed by Rockefeller; Frederick Osborn, author of Preface to Eugenics (New York, 1940), leader of the American Eugenics Society, and one of the founding members of the Pioneer Fund. Osborn was vice president or president of the Population Council until 1959. In 1968 he wrote, “Eugenic goals are most likely to be achieved under another name than eugenics.”^[

ANYWAY……………

I laid in bed last night after hitting link to link to page to page and just had my head spinning.  After waking up this morning after only getting 5 hours of sleep (not good), I stood in the kitchen waiting for the ol christian crank machine (espresso machine) to warm up, and found myself starting to get a massive lump in the back of my throat.  Then, I started crying for some reason.  I thought to myself, “why in the hell am I winging like a giant baby right now?”.  Then, all the sudden, the medium’s voice came into my mind, who I saw back in September.  I suddenly remembered her telling me that I would end up getting upset with people and find myself thinking, “what a bunch of idiots!”.  I would not be thinking this because I thought the ‘people’ were idiots so-to-speak, but because I was merely only frustrated with them because they couldn’t see their potential.

At the time, and up until this morning while I was standing in the kitchen, I thought she was referring to me training people in fitness, and learning how to live a somewhat balanced life.  Now, now I know what she was referring to.  People, myself included, are so easily wrapped up in what is going on in our direct lives.  We don’t have time for the ‘big picture’.  Screw that, I’m too busy thinking about yesterday, and the future.  I’m too busy thinking about my mortgage, my retirement fund, what color dress I was going to wear to the races and what I ended up wearing in the end.  To busy thinking about what videos I want to re-film, what information I want to get out to public, how quickly I want to learn this, do that…. when I have to cook for the week (lol that’s a lie, I don’t cook, the mate does!)…

but you see where this is going.  So for now, you know what I did?  I don’t pray much.  I try to remember to do it.  but trying sometimes just isn’t good enough.  so what I did this morning (oddly enough while I was in the middle of doing some crunches out in the garage), I prayed to a ‘power greater than myself’, to guide me and direct me in the manner in which I’m best suited for.  If I am to ignore all these possible giant ‘monstrosities’ (holy sh*t I spelled that right! as most of you know, misspelling is a massive pet-peeve of mine), and just focus on empowering people through fitness, nutrition, knowledge…. then, so be it.  however, if I’m supposed to go out and buy a Goddamn horse adorned with a white flag and chop my hair off even shorter, and start calling myself ‘Kort of the motha f**kin’ arc’, and ride that mustang down wall street screaming my head off, then so be it.  as long as I keep an open mind, am willing to step out of my comfort zone, spit in the face of Fear, and do the next right thing, then I can’t possibly go wrong.  And you know what, if I happen to miss and do the next wrong thing, I’ll get back up and keep going.  We all fall down from time to time.

As it’s said in the world of Bill W., “more shall be revealed”.

There, now I can head off to my Olympic lifting session and learn more awesome stuff to bring back to y’all.  I’ll warm-up to a special song on my ipod that has a completely new meaning to me now, “Rockefeller Skank” by Fatboy Slim!